Good manners play an integral role in every business encounter, whether it’s lunch with a client, a sales call or a job interview. Good social etiquette can influence your success.
Life is full of awkward moments; those minutes when you wish the earth would just open up and swallow you. Since those embarrassing situations can’t always be avoided, even by those with the best of intentions, here are some tips for handling yourself with aplomb.
If you make a faux pas and say something embarrassing, don’t try to justify it. Just apologize and move on. The longer you dwell on it, the worse it becomes.
You are at a cocktail party when two people are obviously ready to jump at each other (not from joy). As a host or guest, you could approach them and say, “So sorry to interrupt. Could I borrow you in the kitchen for a moment?” and take one participant away.
Or, you find yourself complaining about a specific profession. Then, to your amazement, you find out that the person across from you is in that profession. Just acknowledge that you are a klutz. It’s easier and more graceful than trying to rationalize your comments. Poise can get you through many uncomfortable situations.
Larry’s grandfather has just died. What do you say? Wouldn’t it be easier to avoid him for a while? I urge you to go up to Larry at the first moment you have and simply say, “I am so sorry for your loss.” He might say thank you, or he might want to say something about his grandfather. Give him a chance. If you avoid him, then when will you talk to him next? And, he will remember that you did not even acknowledge his loss.
What if you are the butt of someone’s joke? If it was funny, and true, laugh with him. If it was not, pretend you did not hear it, or at least don’t make a big deal out of it. He will be more embarrassed than you. If he repeats the joke, let him know quietly that you don’t appreciate it.
You open the door for someone and she forgets to say thank you. I always say, “you are welcome”, anyway. Then it happened to me — a man said you are welcome after holding the door for me. I just about died, but remembering that acknowledging your own missteps and oversights can diffuse a situation, I told him I was so deep in thought that I was not aware of my environment. Then I thanked him profusely.
Adeodata Czink is President of www.businessofmanners.com. Contact her at 416.971.9754 or via adeodata@businessofmanners.com
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